you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
