it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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