I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
