she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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