i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
