I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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