i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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