direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
