All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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