Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
