Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
