you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
