"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
