can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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