How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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