just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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