if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
