did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
