did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
