just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
