so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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