I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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