wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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