does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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