i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
