don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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