No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
