She's JV to your varsity
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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