Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He passed out mid-signature
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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