based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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