Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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