What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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