Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
