i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Found the puke drawer
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
