If i come over, it means nothing
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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