Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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