i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
