Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
