I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
