I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
