OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
