I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
