areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
