You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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