I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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