...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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