I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
