i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Drunk is not a location!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
