tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Randomize
