I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
