I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
