No stitches, just platelets and will power
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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