dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
